John Gruden, have you ever listened to yourself speak? Have you ever tried to apply the advice that you give out? I mean, how did you even get hired by ESPN? Are their standards really that low?
First of all, how do you think you are qualified to give quarterbacks advice if you were a FCS pine-rider in college? If you never saw a down of football, except in high school, does that make anyone qualified to give an NFL quarterback advice on how to improve his game? I mean, when was the last time you even threw a football? Do you realize that when you have your “quarterback camp” that any American who knows what a football is, is at home picking apart every word of your advice? Do you think your advice is really that sound?
At 5’10”, do you realize that there are many 6th grade girls taller than you, and can grip a football easier? Did you know that most people who listen to advice from you actually suffer? Did you think the advice you gave Colt McCoy would lead to him winning a Super Bowl? Have you seen his spot on the roster recently? Is he a starter? Or is he a third string pine-rider just like you in your unimpressive college career? What about Tim Tebow? Did your advice get him a starting spot either? Or did he get cut by the New York Jets, a team that is hardly considered to be a part of the NFL by some?
Do you think ESPN’s decision to hire you as an announcer was sound when most of America doesn’t like your opinions or think what you are saying is credible? Don’t you think most Americans look forward to 2017 when you tenure is up? Or do you think your off the wall metaphors that leave listeners confused suffice? Would you believe that many Americans mute the TV when you start ranting at one point and finish some where way beyond the blue? Do you even know what you are going to talk about when you open your mouth? Do you just open your mouth and find where your going to end somewhere along the way? Also, would you mind talking a bit quieter? Have you watched one of your broadcasts and had to turn it down only when you speak because it is an entirely different level of volume and annoyance?
At least, did you know that the word “physicality” that you so often use is not even in the dictionary? How is it possible to try to sound smart but actually use made up words? Since you have figured it out, will you let me know? Does the word even sound correct when it comes out? Doesn’t it just sound like a five year old trying to make up a new word?
How can you take pride in your work knowing that most discredit your accomplishments and find them unviable because they only happened once? I mean, every once in a while doesn’t a blind squirrel find a nut? Can’t you see that by the way the Buccaneers treated you? Do you remember what they did to you? Didn’t they give you a contract extension during the season and then fire you a couple weeks later? Do you think they believed in you?
Lastly, will you tell your wife I admire how much pride she has to put up with?